Disgruntled Waking

I watched you with intrigue. I stared at your face as it lit up in genuin mirth. Your mouth opened to laugh throatily and i crinkled my nose in disgust when you flashed a mouthful of soggy cereal.

 But, i melted just looking at you. You're eyes softenend as they regarded whatever it was that held your gaze. I leaned against the wall, mentally cursing my heart for thumping so loudly, fearing it would give me away. I placed my hand over where i imagined your name would be carved into my heart and smiled indulgently. I looked at you again.

 There was a smile tugging at your lips. God, you were so... captivating. It could be the only word to explain why my bones so suddenly disappeared, and how my lungs compressed. The breath caught in my throat, and your head turned toward the sound.

 I froze. My hands tightened around the robe in surprise. I opened my mouth... but...

 Your cheek twitched, eyeing me in a way that made me shiver, before turning into a large cheeky grin.

"Momma!"

 Before i could even react, my head snapped to attention. I looked down beside your seat, where a little boy sat with a dimpled smile that urged me to cover him in kisses.

 She glittered.

She held still, even as her body was wracked with sobs. Her frame shook, it trembled, she seemed to vibrate. Her sadness was overtaking her, blurring her shape until she was unrecognizable. She sagged, folding into herself; she locked herself in. With her arms bent so unkindly and her legs strewn haphazardly before her, she sealed off permanently.

Her face, the least appealing aspect of her, was so stunningly heartbreaking, the literal window. It was made of stone, chiseled to perfect sorrow, as crystal tears carved their way down the planes of her cheeks. They sparkled beautifully when they fell off her chin, diamonds as they clattered, scattering and rebounding off the linoleum.

She started, hiccuping into alertness. Blinking blearily, her joints creaked as she rubbed away the melted crystals from her eyes. She didn't move. She held still. Her house of matchsticks had not held, and she was planning on skipping the bricks. She looked up, her eyes the liquified steel she was already forming around her. 

In a blind sort of fashion, she reached out, fingers pattering and spidering toward the settling diamonds. She cinched one in the crease between in her fingers. picking up and holding it toward her face. It caught the light. But rather than create the illusion of a preppy rainbow, it shimmered. It loosened. Her eyes snapped toward it, discarded the peripherals she was using, and stared at it. She held it closer.

With a tilt of her hand, she realized the gem did not roll, but instead it trailed down the side of her palm like water. She watched unbelievingly as it fell swiftly off her hand and down... Down into her walls.

Her steel accepted the molten diamond and it bonded so forcefully, it made her shudder and tremble and seemingly vibrate. She blinked. She stirred. She blinked, once, twice; her head cleared the fog.

Suddenly. Just suddenly, she stood, walking away from her deadened spot. 

If she were the same person she was before, if she hadn't unknowingly stopped being, she would've cared as her diamonds crushed and crusted on the bottom of her shoes, or that if she had continued caring, she would've noticed when she crossed the open window...

She stopped glittering.

If you had to wear one color for the entire next year, which would you pick?

black and blazer2

lolololololol XD



Black, sorry. But it's the most universal color. And i'm sure i can find a black ensemble for any occasion. c:

I've always loved the 80s. It's such an awesome era. With clothes and culture, i'm just in love. -nod nod-



It's hard to explain.

What natural disaster freaks me out more???

Tornadoes. -nod nod-



It just frazzles me to think that they are so unpredictable! I live down south where we almost ALWAYS get the Hurricane, so that makes for a double strike if we have a tornado warning. DDD:

Animal face-off! Who would win in a fight between a goat and a 14-year-old boy?



Um... The dude. Hands down. We aren't humans for anything. Plus, we set the rules and the goat can only agree.

Mhmm. Money's on the dude.

-nods-

Ice cream truck

I used to love hearing the the familiar jingle of the icevream truck as it passed by my dad's house.

But meh dad's not here anymore, so i don't have that comfort of getting ice cream and cookies every friday and saturday.

My Bloop sisters.

Vale Bloop
I love her. It's the most obvious thing in the world. I swear.

Steffu Boo
I don't know why, really. But, i'm just glad she's part of my world. Even if it was a year late ^^;;

If it's being an attendee or a participant, there's lots to love about a wedding.

The best part...

I just love planning everything out, and just absolutely loving the outcome.

Stop and stare; laugh and cry. Wedding's are just fun. Emotionally tiring, yes. But fun.

profilenotfound .
Happy Birthday~! 

BAHAHAHAHAHA. I've just won a lifetime supply of candy! Which type should i pick?

Candy?!

L SWEETS. There. That's it.

Everything L has ever eaten.

83

I get home and i scurry to my room where i dispense my carry-things, and i search for any clothes to change into (usually my nightie) and i do exactly that.

But it seems like i'm tearing my clothes at the seams; i don't like the weight of the day-to-day clothes i repeat wearing every so often...

I really love my nightie, though. It looks good AND it makes me feel comfy :3

Apparently, some unknown substance in my hemoglobin, or even my red blood cells, just pulls misunderstandings and drama toward me like a magnet.

I hate confronting people. I can be a total bitch. Trust me. But i hate being one when it concerns someone who can relate to me. People find me who open and free that they think it's easy to dig through my defenses to my head and heart. But, in reality, they find themselves in obstacles, and once they reach those obstacles they have completely lost my trust in them.

If you want to keep this trust, just wait for me. It lets me know that you truly want to know me. It signifies something spectacular.

I can't trust anymore.

Not her.

It wasn't her business. And now my wall is up and it'll take a miracle to break it down for her.

I say i feel tiny because that is what i am.

I say i feel insignificant because i can't help.

You say i'm not.

You say just being there helps you.

But you are lying. I know it.

I play it off. Laugh with you. Tell you that you are right. We exchange our promises of love. But, your smiles are hollow, they don't reach your eyes. You laughs are loud, but too exuberant. I stare at you, scrutinizing. Your happiness is seemingly genuine.

You are lying. I know it.

So, i keep on 'helping' you, listening to you daily, responding when necessary. Silence, laughter, sarcasm, stupidity.

I feel like i can reach you, but i can't touch you.

Or is it that i can touch you, feel you physically, but i'm not reaching you?

I struggle to do what is not mine to do.

Worn out places.
Worn out faces...

~Going Nowhere

-bawls hysterically-

AH! AGH! BLEHHHH!!!

poor L. RIP, mah love.

This vid is the shiz, let me tell you. Sad, but 37 many kinds of awesome!

 To let feel is everything a hot bubble bath is.

The tub is filled to the
brim with everyday troubles.
And the water bubbles,

and swirls becuase its heated
and ready to engulf you.

But then, when you've stayed
indifferent enough, and
it's time to wash
that shell away,
you submerse yourself.

You're stripped,
and naked.
Your foot is in the basin
but the water threatens
to spill.

To overrun.
To cascade over the side,
with no power to stop it,
just cover it up.

But you are in,
and surrounded
in water that's way too
hot to handle.

The water sways,
and spills,
and pools,
and settles
over the other side.

Your shell is back on,
but people walk away,
and you are left soaked,
and burnt,
and alone,

and longing


For my big brother. Love her, please.

Oh, the torment bred in the race,
the grinding scream of death
and the stroke that hits the vein,
the hemorrhage none can staunch, the grief,
the curse no man can bear.

But there is a cure in the house,
and not outside it, no,
not from others but from them,
their bloody strife. We sing to you,
dark gods beneath the earth.

Now hear, you blissful powers underground --
answer the call, send help.
Bless the children, give them triumph now.

Lily Collins



Lily Collins
UK InStyle Photoshoot